Friday, December 05, 2008

Relationship Heartache, Breaking Up, & Rebound Rituals

I'll be attempting to make a post every now and then about relationship as I often get exposed to younger peers who go through emotional turmoils once in awhile. I also visited a blog lately where the blogger was asking for advise on how to heal a broken heart.

So let me kick this off by tackling the subject of heartaches, breaking up, and getting into a rebound ritual.

I believe that heartache begins while most of us are still in the relationship or just a day after the split or termination. It is funny when the weather jives with you that day. You look outside hoping to find an area in the big sky to throw what you are feeling away. Then all of a sudden, you see dark or polluted clouds everywhere that just cracks you further.

It is also a matter on how the relationship is ending. At times, it seems you can't agree to anything and almost at each others neck especially if you work together on projects. Then until one makes a proper goodbye and both parties agreed.

In some cases, a communication block occurs because you were both tied up. After a week or two, the concern will be raised on the state of the relationship, the answer is given, then both agree to end it there.

Not all endings are clean. Some go through the point of a heart-to-heart talk. Others end abruptly with tears while parting ways. While some terminate it like a date or bid cancelled.

If you are unlucky, your feelings may be ignored altogether to the point that it gets mocked, disrespected, belittled or humored upon. But you can't judge that soon - as much as a lot has been said, there's also everything that was not said. I guess it partly shows the best and worst in us as a person.

Nursing a heartache can be a difficult stage. However, those who love themselves more can get through far more quicker. That is why such is an important prerequisite, in my opinion, before one can be ready getting into a relationship. Take time out, pull yourself together, and become a better person. If you have been put down by a lover, that is only because you allowed them to. It is also your right to decline any further discussion about your heart or feelings if the intention is not clear.

Get ready to rebound!
Alright laugh out loud, the above was so serious already. The point of this post is this girl book - Rebound Rituals by Kerry Colburn and Jennifer Worick that tackles 50 ways to bounce back after breaking up. Some of the tips I like and my thoughts about it are:
  • Fly solo
    Take a break and yes you should. Get that feeling back that all you need is well - you!

  • Make a hate letter
    Yes, because we are too polite to curse or express our anger. Of course, the hate letter is not meant to be sent but just vent that negative emotions out if you have to.

  • Consult the cards or zodiac
    Have fun and find out what the stars or cards have to say about you. There are also mental affirmations to end a heartache and reclaiming your stolen heart. This option may require you to burn some of the items he has given you.

  • Get a hobby or new adventure
    Anything you like to do. Maybe start a food blog, get some dancing lessons, start a business, read more, among others.

  • Assemble the worthy
    Make an album or photo collection of great men in your family and those you admire. There are still a lot of good men out there.
There are 45 more tips in the book that you will surely find entertaining. Check it out!